Deep Memory
Told me you were sick,
So I got up,
Only to help you sit.
You fall to the ground,
I make the call,
But by then you were already above the ground.
In the sky like a bird,
Only your heart can be seen now,
I can feel the warmth.
But then the vines,
Only to break the feeling,
Then comes sorrow,
As the fire eats me alive,
I still sit and wonder,
When will this fire become only a flame?
Only with help from the arm of a wave.
AG129
It’s a friend I lost during this wave.
It is something that everyone there cannot deny.
Watching over us from heaven,
Its time for us to remember him for life,
So rest in peace AG129,
You are forever in my heart.
Love, JP229.
1 comment:
POEM #1 I think the first poem is about losing a dear friend. The strongest part of the poem is "But by then you were already above the ground." The line I think needs a little work is "Told me you were sick" It really does not make a lot of sense to me. Maybe you could make it a little clear.
Poem #2 I think the second poem is about losing a dear friend. The friend is really close to you. The strongest part is "It's a friend I lost during this wave" The line I think you should work on is "AG129 It's a pain I felt in everyway" The AG129 is that a nickname? It is the confusing to the reader.
Overall, I can relate to the first poem, because I lost my aunt to ALS this summer. I know how it feels to lose someone.
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